Lines to Love: Friendship, the Perfect Blendship

Friendship is an essential. We all need at least one person with whom we connect. Someone with whom we can laugh unbridled. Someone who understands and provides a shoulder for us through our tears. Someone who cares about the big wonderfuls as well as the small delightfuls that fill our lives.

Since having my son, I’ve been afforded time to reflect on the friendships in my life. There have been those to whom I’m drawn closer, those who have taken more of a background role though they remain dear, and, unfortunately, those who have parted ways. This is the way of life. It is every changing. 

The evolution of friendship is interesting. While we may consider things such as longevity to be a guarantee against that friendship waning, alas, sometimes it is not. Other times that longevity provides the backbone on which your friendship resides in the lean times as well as the fat. Other times, you have such kinship with someone right off the bat that the lack of years seems incomprehensible. Then there are the friends that come into our lives for a season and the memories they leave all the more cherished. Finally, there are those friendships that last a lifetime, through the mountains and valleys, even the ever dividing offenses. Regardless, friendships, while ever changing, are a constant need within our lives. 

I have been collecting lines about friendship for a while now. They have been gleaned from various readings of mine. In truth, since I’ve been recording them, I don’t always remember from whence they came. Regardless, they each provide an insight into what friendship is. It is my hope that while you read through them (and enjoy the pictures, too), they will serve as reminders for you to treasure the friends- in all their forms- that fill your life. 

Perhaps one of the most wonderful aspects of an abiding friendship is the truth which Charles Lamb enumerates here:

“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.” -Charles Lamb

“Be slow to fall into friendship; but when thou art in, continue firm & constant.”’ – Socrates

Socrates is one of the greatest philosophers of all time. It stands to reason, then, that we should heed his words, particularly where friendship is concerned. The reason I saved this particular quote of his is because I whole heartedly agree with it. My personality is such that I let things grow rather slowly. However, like Mr. Darcy, once I’ve made my mind up that you’re my friend, that’s it. You’re my friend through thick and thin; communication and non-communication, time and distance. 

“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.” – Ally Condie

Life will separate you. Sometimes friendships are only meant for a season. Others for a lifetime. It is a mark of maturity when you can look back at a friendship that has waned and see that it was a highlight, a hallmark of a part of your life that you will never forget and will always be grateful for. 

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” – Plutarch

I have heard many forebears remark that if you count Plutarch among the literature that you’re familiar with, you are highly educated. This quote is an excellent example of the wisdom that one finds in his philosophy.

I think this quote encapsulates the hard part of friendship. Too often we equate loving someone to affirming them and accepting them in all things. This is not always the case. When you genuinely love someone, want the best for them, but see them continually making decisions that harm or hurt them, it is your duty to speak up and say something. It may be a temporary wound, it may be a forever offense, or it may be the catalyst that brings positive change into your friend’s life. It’s a crap shoot to be sure, but if you love your friend, you must be honest, even if they ultimately disagree and move on from you. Friendship requires love in the easy and in the hard. 

“There’s not a word yet for old friends who’ve just met.” – Jim Henson

It is a rare occurrence when you meet someone and have such instantaneous kinship with them that you can’t remember a time in your life when they weren’t there. Even if that time was only a few weeks ago. When this happens, you must prize that friendship. Guard it, for it is a true treasure. 

“A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.” – Leo Buscaglia

This year I’ve spent a copious amount of time in the garden. While its a wrestle with weeds and watering schedules, it is a marvel when you behold a blossom that you’ve cultivated as it unfolds into glorious splendor. That is why this particular line touches my heart. 

It also serves as a reminder. Social media has made the term friend rather shallow. Not every acquaintance is a friend, though you may be friendly with them. And with this new definition, we begin to quantify things rather than judge them on quality. We attach worth to how many friends we have on social media. However, true connect is much rarer. When you have someone who understands where you’re at, what you’re dealing with, what excites you, what has hurt you, dear reader, you only need one of those friends. They are worth their weight in gold.

“Sweet is the memory of distant friends! Like the mellow rays of the departing sun, it falls tenderly, yet sadly, on the heart.” – Washington Irving

Having moved away from some truly dear friends, I know the joy and pain of this quote. Recollections of wonderful times spent in each others company bring a smile; missing them, not so much.

“A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.” – Arthur Brisbane

This echoes Plutarch’s comment above. Truth is hard. More often than not, we don’t want to hear it. But the old proverb is true: faithful are the wounds of a friend. Or, as I’ve heard, a true friend stabs in the front. If you’re friend is taking the time to help you by telling you something you don’t want to hear, then consider the source. If you know it comes from a place of love, weigh up their words and see where the truth of them resonates with you. 

“It is the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.” – Marlene Dietrich

I know this line from Marlene Dietrich to be 100% true. Four A.M. calls are rare. Usually they are made in dire need. Therefore, it makes it all the more dear when you hear a friend’s voice, groggy with sleep, answering. 

“In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, for in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.” – Khalil Gibran

This post began with nonsense and ends with laughter. May your friendships be filled with such special things. We all need the nonsense; we definitely all need the laughter. May your friendships be full of not only both, but vast amounts of love and caring, too.